The Right Questions October 15, 2009

As Children’s Ministry leaders, we have a strong heritage of Christ-followers who were not afraid to rock the boat.  We have a cloud of witnesses who came before us, calling the church to take ministering to children seriously.  The church has followed the call to minister to its next generation of leaders and innovators – we’ve created mission organizations that focus on children, we’ve developed strategies that equip parents to pass on of their faith, we’ve invented resources and magazines to empower and lead those called to children’s ministry and we’ve made strong progress in gathering together as a group of leaders focused on The Kingdom rather than our own castles of ministry.

Though innovation runs deep in our family history, it is easy for some of us to become stagnant. Many of us will be taking a look (if we haven’t already) at our strategic plans for 2010… and very few of us will be trying something totally new.  I’ll be honest, I’m speaking to the mirror on this one.

When was the last time your ministry team invented something?  When was the last time you sat down with a blank piece of paper and decided to dream big?

For some of us, myself included, we need a catalyst to initiate change.  We need others to rally alongside us to seek out innovation together.

This year, try something new.
Write your best idea on a napkin, and meet me in Las Vegas this February.

Hundreds of Children’s Ministry leaders from around the country will descend on Nevada to ask the right questions and listen to the new things God might be calling us to.

Justyn Smith, Children’s Pastor and one of the hosts for Napkin has this to say about the event…

“I’m extremely excited to announce the creation of a national children’s pastors and leaders conference called ‘Napkin Conference’. Everybody doodles and writes their ideas on napkins. Napkins are a dreamers best friend. What’s going to set this conference apart from every other conference you ask? Napkin Conference is not just a conference–it’s a giant brainstorming session with some of the world’s greatest children’s pastors and leaders. Not only is there going to be leadership principles, but there is going to be idea sessions with practical application from real children’s pastors in the trenches–just like you. Oh, since we’re in Las Vegas–the entertainment capital of the world–your registration gets you a free Las Vegas show on the famous Las Vegas Strip! Join incredible children’s leaders like Jim Wideman, Justyn Smith, Hillsong’s David Wakerley, Byron Ragains, Lifechurch.tv’s Allyson Evans and more! For more information visit www.napkinconference.com. Can’t wait to see you in Vegas!”

This is not a mega conference.  You will have time and opportunities to have real discussions with real leaders who’ve been in your shoes and who share your hopes and dreams.

If you haven’t signed up, do so today.  Watch this video.  See you in Vegas.

Interviewing the Mirror: First and Last Impressions September 25, 2009

I want to you to consider all of the options a family has on a Sunday morning.

If, by the time a family in your community has weighed all of their weekend options, they arrive at your church to drop their kids off – you need to recognize that they’ve made a pretty big decision.  And, what happens in their first 5 minutes and last 5 minutes will shape their memory of your program.

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A few years ago, I was interviewing a handful of applicants for an internship position at our church.  A young man had submitted his resume and had reached the point in our application process where he came in for a face-to-face interview.  Let me share a couple memories from the first and last moments of this interview:

FIRST IMPRESSION

Me: “Welcome [applicant], make yourself comfortable.”

Applicant: *trips* *falls* *gets up and takes a seat*

Me: “Are you alright?”

Applicant: *sneezes* *wipes large amounts of snot onto his shorts* “… can I start over?”

FINAL IMPRESSION

Me: “Thanks, [applicant] for your time.  As we wrap things up, do you have any questions for us – or is there anything about you that you haven’t shared and you’d like us to know?”

Applicant: “Well… I failed a couple courses in college.  Do you need to know that?  It’s not because I didn’t do the projects – I just never finished them.  I have a hard time finishing things.  I get kind of bored easily.  That’s why I’m taking some time off of school.  I want to do something a little easier…”

*silence*

Applicant: “…can I start over?”

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I came across some paperwork from this interview a few days ago and, to be quite honest, I was surprised at all of the notes I had taken.  In my memory, this interview only lasted a few minutes… though, in reality, it was much longer.  This guy will always be the clumsy/lazy/sneezer in my mind because of the first and last impressions he gave our team.  The reality is, he never got to start over.  There was no RESET button on his interview.

This weekend, you have a chance to make first and last impressions on families in your community.  They will see, in their first 5 minutes, how much you care about cleanliness and hygiene.  Flu season is around the corner… do you have hand sanitizer readily available in your ministry environments?  Parents will know, at first glance, if you have a process in place to keep their children safe and secure in your ministry.  But, if you have a check-in system, you need to evaluate how quick it is.  If your check in process takes longer than 180 seconds, Gina McClain would says that you’re making one of the biggest mistakes possible in children’s ministry.
When parents return, are you being strategic about your last impressions?  Parents are going to ask kids two basic questions during pick-up: 1) Did you have fun? and 2) What did you learn?  If children in your program cannot answer those questions, that is the thing most parents will remember.  If you hope for a family to return, you need to make sure you’re being intentional about the last impressions they have as they leave campus.

At the end of the day, your ministry has one shot to make a first impression.  Many parents decide whether or not they will return to a church long before they make it to your worship center or sanctuary.  Help them make the decision to return by evaluating the first impressions they have on your church’s campus.

Katherine “Kate” Elizabeth Prince September 2, 2009

I’ll be away from moderating WestCoastCM for a couple days while I enjoy the birth of our daughter.

In the meantime, check out what these awesome friends of mine are saying…

• Children’s Ministry Online
• Dan Scott
• Gina McClain
• jonathan cliff
• Matt McKee
• Pastor Jim Miller’s Blog
• Samluce.com

Interviewing the Mirror: Allow myself to introduce… myself August 27, 2009

I’ve had the recent opportunity to be thrown into the world of interviews.
We’re in the process of wrapping up interviewing and hiring a new administrative assistant who will provide support to our Children’s and Student ministry programs.

We’re taking steps toward becoming a church that’s staffed a little more “Orange.”
It’s pretty exciting.

The last three weeks of phone calls, interviews and call-backs have inspired me to apply some of our team’s learnings to our areas of ministry.

Over the next few posts, we’ll take a look at some questions we should be asking ourselves and our ministry areas as we gear up for the launch of our Fall programs and initiatives.

Today, I encourage you to introduce yourself.

Think about how your ministry might begin a job interview.  If it were asked to simply “Tell us about yourself”… what would it say?… what should it say?
You need to be able to answer this question with brevity and confidence.  Can you do that?

Each weekend, your programs have a chance to make a first impression on a family… are you being intentional?

What to do with a Brett Favre August 21, 2009

So, Brett Favre is on your children’s ministry team… what should you do?

First, and foremost, don’t panic!
Your Brett Favre wants to succeed… it’s now your goal to get this leader to a place where they are helping your team and not distracting it.

Now, you may not be able to get your Brett Favre to a place where he can ever beat the Dallas Cowboys (Jonathan Cliff… I’m not sure what the ministry parallel is to this. We await your wisdom in the comments section),  but you can get to a place where having Brett Favre on your team makes your ministry better and more effective.

Brett Can’t Be the Best Player on Your Team

As long as your Brett Favre feels as though they are carrying your team, they won’t be able to take direction from you and they’ll maintain a diva-esque personality.  If you are committed to keeping this leader on your team, you need to invest heavily into another team member and give them the keys to an area of your ministry.  In the same way that the Minnesota Vikings’ offense will continue to showcase Adrian Peterson… you need to be able to showcase someone on your team that you trust can carry the load.  This will help define your Brett’s role in your ministry area – it’s not about them… it’s about the team that they are a part of (and, ultimately, it’s about serving Christ).  Surround Brett Favre with talent, and he’ll be more likely to conform to the team.

Brett Favre Needs to Win

Brett Favre has always been the happiest and most effective when he’s on a winning team.  Your Brett Favre is no different.  If your Brett isn’t following your directions, try redefining what a “win” looks like for your ministry team.  When defining a “win” for your team, make sure that the results are things that your leaders can observe.  Maybe a “win” for your team is when a child can answer the two questions parents often ask when they pick children up: “Did you have fun?” and “What did you learn?”  Whatever your criteria becomes, make sure that you point out these victories to your team in large settings.  Brett Favre wants to be a winner.  He wants to be contributing to a winning team – you need to show him what a “win” looks like.

Brett Favre Needs Your Encouragement

At the end of the day, Brett Favre is just like any of us.  When Brett feels like he’s the only one playing the game the way it should be played, the world becomes a lonely place.  You need to find out if your Brett Favre is in a Small Group, a Bible Study, an Accountability Group… whatever it is that your church has to keep its members engaged in the church community – your Brett needs to know that he’s not alone.  By building strong friendships in the church, your Brett will be less likely to leave your ministry for the one down the road.  With a commitment to the church community, your Brett will be more willing to put his ego aside for the sake of the team.  However, if your Brett feels as though he is on an island, expect him to operate outside of your leadership.

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Your ministry team is made up of an assortment of characters and you have been called to work alongside them.  At times, that means we need to invest more heavily into team members.  Other times, we need to set high expectations and hold our team accountable.  There are even times when we need to have a leader over for dinner to let them know that we care about them and that they are not serving in a bubble.  Whatever the next step is for you and your team, hopefully this series has helped you out.

What are your experiences with having a Brett Favre on your ministry team?  Are there other tips that you’d like to share with the community?

Post your thoughts and comments in the comments section!

How Did He Get Here?! (and who IS this person?) August 19, 2009

Yesterday, in light of Brett Favre’s signing with the Minnesota Vikings, we took a quick look at our ministries to evaluate if we had anyone on our teams that look a bit like Brett Favre.

If you answered “yes” to any of yesterday’s questions, then you first need to know how in the world your “Brett Favre” got to be the person they are today.  Going forward, you’ll be better off if you know who you’re dealing with.

There are 3 major events that have helped define your Brett Favre.

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Brett Favre Lives for his Passions

July 24, 1990

Brett Favre was a Senior at Southern Miss when he was involved in a near-fatal car accident. Near his parents’ home in Mississippi, Favre flipped his car three times and came to rest against a tree. During the ambulance ride to the hospital, Brett was able to talk to his mother.
“All I kept asking [her] was ‘Will I be able to play football again?’” Favre recalled later.

Your Brett Favre may not have been in a car accident like the real Brett Favre, but, at some point in their life, they’ve had a pivotal moment when they looked to their passions and gifts to help them overcome an obstacle.  For Brett, his passion for the game of football drove him to recover quickly from the surgery that removed 30 inches of his small intestine… later leading his team to a come-from-behind victory over Alabama merely 6 weeks after his accident.
For your team member, it may have been a rough spot in their marriage or job.  It may have been an unexpected diagnosis.  They may have felt as though they’d lost control over something in their lives.  Whatever that incident was, pouring themselves into ministry helped them find enough joy and encouragement to push through that hard time.  They feel as though their passion saved them.

What you need to know: If you take away what they’re passionate about, your Brett Favre might feel as though you’re stealing their life away.  Their passion has defined them.  For better or for worse.

Brett Favre Has Been Successful

January 26, 1997

Brett Favre led the Packers to their best season in decades during the 1996 season, winning his second consecutive MVP award in the process.  The season culminated in a Super Bowl XXXI victory – a game in which Brett threw for 2 touchdowns, ran for 1 and completed a two-point conversion.  In 1991, the year before Brett would begin taking snaps for the Packers, the team posted a 4-12 record. In 5 short years, Brett Favre led one of the NFL’s storied franchises to their first league championship in 30 years.

Brett Favres come into the picture during a down season in a ministry area.  They usually begin as a back up or an assistant.  They experience hard times, but often work hard during those times and begin to find and define success in their ministry area.  Other leaders, inside and outside of their team, describe your Brett Favre as a “success story” and Bretts often become the face of the area they’re involved in.  Most of these accolades are deserved… though, at the time, those in leadership are not quite aware that they’re creating a problem for themselves down the road (though, to be honest, the leaders who help create Brett Favres are typically only around during their glory years. You usually come into the picture later on).

What you need to know: Because your Brett Favre has had success, they are more likely to stick with the methods that they were using during the time of that success. New leaders often look up to the Brett Favre in your ministry area.  Your Brett Favre is often known and looked up to by those on other teams.  This dynamic will almost always make it difficult to transition this leader out of their leadership role.

Brett Favre has been a Constant

Sept 27, 1992 – Present

Brett Favre became the Packers’ starting quarterback in the fourth game of the 1992 season. He has started every game of every NFL season since that day.  Brett has played through injury and tragedy.  Brett is dedicated to playing in every game that he can… sometimes, playing through severe pain in order to do so.

There are team members whose names are written on your schedule ever-so-lightly in pencil.  You hope they show up… but, you make back-up plans in case they fall through.  Your Brett Favre doesn’t need a schedule.  Easter Sunday?  They’re there.  VBS?  They’ll run the craft station… all by themselves.  You or your wife expecting a baby?  This leader can stand in the gap until you return.  The Brett Favre in your ministry area is often known for their constant presence.  This presence has secured their place in the hearts of those around them.  But… a funny thing happens when you ask your leaders to sign on for another term of commitment – this leader hesitates.  There are times when they look at you as though they’re offended you had to ask… there are other times when they’ve failed to sign a commitment card.  Yet, for all of the drama they create behind the scenes, their teammates see them as a rock of stability.  Calling them “flaky” won’t win you any fans.

What you need to know: Your Brett Favre only pretends to be flaky for two reasons.  1) They feel as though they have served long enough that they are above verbal or written commitments.  2) They need to hear how much you NEED them.
Your Brett Favre is not actually flaky.  They are a constant… especially when you wish they weren’t.

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You need to know the history of your Brett Favre before you decide how to deal with them.

Remember those questions you thought about during yesterday’s post?
Now that you know a little bit about your Brett, during our next post we’ll talk about how to deal with them and turn them into a great team member.

Is Brett Favre on your team? August 18, 2009

Do you have Brett Favre on your ministry team?

Take this quick self-examination to find out:

1. Do you have a team member who always leaves you uncertain of their commitment?
2. Do you have a team member who, if asked to step down from their role, would move on to any church that would take them on their team?
3. Do you have a team member who is still thinks that the methods they used in 1997 are still your best options?

Now, I’ll admit, I have a soft spot in my heart for Brett Favre. Watching him take the field and rock the defense of the Raiders after his dad’s passing in 2003 was one of the greatest sports moments I’ve seen in my lifetime. I don’t change the channel or fast forward the TiVo when commercials w/ Brett come on. Brett has overcome so many challenges in his life that he’s always the easy guy to root for.

But, the Brett Favres of the church world aren’t always the best teammates. Brett Favres are not always the guy/gal you should build a team around. As a coach, Brett Favres may be at a point in their career where they might not listen to your direction.

This week, WestCoastCM will take a look at what to do if you find out you have a Brett Favre on your team.

Tomorrow’s post: How did he get here?!

Top 10 Children’s Ministry Resources: Top 10 List August 12, 2009

Here’s the list, in its entirety:

10  Choosing to Cheat (Andy Stanley)

9    Creative MYK (www.creativemyk.com)

8    To Own a Dragon: Reflections On Growing Up Without A Father (Donald Miller)

7    Yancy (www.yancynotnancy.com)

6    Nick Magazine (from the creators of Nickelodeon)

5    Too Small to Ignore (Dr. Wess Stafford)

4    Curious George  (2006)

3    The Jesus Story Bible (Sally Lloyd Jones)

2    Think Orange (Reggie Joiner)

1    Collaboration

Want to weigh in?

If you feel like we missed something, share your additions in the comments section.

Top 10 Children’s Ministry Resources: #1 The Collaborating Community August 10, 2009

There is not a book on any of our shelves that can replace the resource that we are to each other.

We live in a time in history when ideas can be exchanged in real-time across hundreds, if not thousands, of miles via text, voice, picture, or video.

There is a movement in our field to embrace the idea of collaboration and, if you’re reading this right now, you’re a part of it.  30 years ago, when guys like Jim Wideman were still cutting their teeth in children’s ministry, they could have never imagined the resources we’d have at our fingertips today.  You are a part of a movement that has been called to mobilize the Church.  We are called to tell others to take ministering to kids seriously.  We are called to be innovative and to strive for excellence.

Your best resources are the other leaders reading this post right now.

Let me share 5 ground rules for what collaboration looks like… and what it doesn’t look like.
(thanks to Sam, Gina, Matt, Jonathan and Kenny for helping me understand and truly believe what I’m about to write…)

1. We’re all experts. God has called you to serve where your serving.  That’s a pretty big deal.  You are the only one who has expertise in being you, in your ministry context, at your age and stage of life.  Your voice carries weight.  Feel free to speak like you have ideas the rest of us need to hear.
2. We’re not experts. Writing, commenting on, or moderating a blog doesn’t make someone an expert.  And, remember the whole, “We’re all experts” thing I just mentioned?  We all also fail.  Often.  Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can never be wrong.  You can and will be wrong… and the world will keep turning.  And we’ll keep listening to your ideas.
3. Size doesn’t matter. Small churches and large churches are all part of Jesus’ church… we all have things to learn from each other.  Numbers should never be the main topic of any discussion.  There are appropriate times and places for number discussions.  Don’t assume that you know when and where those are – those rules are often fluid.
4. Share your ideas, not just your victories. It’s easy to talk about the Gospel presentation where 39 kids accepted Jesus into their lives.  It’s a little tougher to talk about the time when not one child made a profession of faith.  But, here’s the thing – what we sometimes consider failures, God wants to redeem as victories.  It’s always best, when collaborating, to share ideas before you actually try them.  Someone may have insight that makes your idea better.  Write your ideas on Napkins.  Don’t taken them too seriously.  Share them.  You may have been given an idea for someone else to use.
5. Stop Lurking. There’s a rich man in your congregation who is taking $137 out of the offering plate every time it gets passed in your church.  He comes to every service and does the same thing.  Then, he goes down the street to the church that starts 15 minutes after yours and does the same thing.  He’s become so rich from this scheme that he makes more in interest in one day than you and I make in income in a year – combined.
   Now, obviously, that man doesn’t exist.  Except he does.  And it’s you.
   There’s a good chance that, if you’re reading this right now, you’ve been here before.  And you’ll come here again.  And you check out the other kidmin blogs in the area.  And you probably rarely (if ever!) share your ideas.  You need to give back to the offering plate.  You don’t have to start your own blog or own your own space to do it.  Simply find a community and start sharing ideas.  Start giving back.  Unless you want to be a lurking jerk.

The community of children’s ministry leaders that we have access to is our best resource.
We’re waiting for you to join in.

Want to get involved?

Get involved by commenting on this blog, one of the blogs listed to the right of this page, by creating a Twitter account, or by joining the CMConnect Community.

Top 10 Children’s Ministry Resources: #2 Think Orange August 9, 2009

I came away from The Orange Conference this last year with all sorts of shifts buzzing through my mind.

You can find some of those thoughts here.

My biggest “wake-up” moment came for me weeks later as I finished my first pass through Reggie Joiner’s Think Orange.
I needed to reevaluate everything that I thought I knew about children’s ministry.

I could take up a lot of space laying out everything I LOVE about what is essentially my new Children’s Ministry manifesto… but, I think Jonathan Cliff does the concepts some justice in his series of Think Orange posts here.

The Church-at-large exists to equip families to reach the next generation with the Gospel of Jesus.  It’s taken me 8 years of Children’s Ministry to finally hear that message and respond – I’m excited to see where that philosophy of ministry takes our team.